take back the song

There’s no need to explain. Really.

I know you don’t have anything against “Piano Man.” Maybe you even used to sing along when you heard it on the radio. But then, by some cruel twist of Muzak fate, it became the theme song for your root canal and hearing about Davy who’s still in the Navy has made you wince ever since.

How about when “Start Me Up” accompanied that bout of projectile vomiting during pregame layups back in 1985? (Home court, of course.) Even though you recovered by halftime and your team won by a landslide, Tattoo You’s first track morphed into a musical Voldemort . . . the “Song-That-Must-Not-Be-Named.”

And then there’s the music that slices through your soul — the songs that seem to stalk you, constant reminders of memories you’d rather forget.

I’ve grappled with all of the above —  the MASH theme triggered pre-piano lesson dread, Red Hot Chili Peppers’ “Under the Bridge” transported me back to a disastrous day at work in San Francisco, and there were two heartbreakers I feared were beyond salvaging — “Atlantic City” and “Band on the Run.”

Unfortunately, time doesn’t heal all tunes. Here are a few strategies to help you take back a song:

Are you really going to let a song catch you off guard and turn your day upside down for the rest of your life? No, you’re not. You are going to play the power out of it.

Listen to it on the beach surrounded by a group of friends. Or drive around alone . . . windows down,  volume up.

Your method doesn’t matter as long so listen to it so many times that it’s transformed from “that song” into just “a song.” Got it?

Out with the old and in with the new.  Could taking back a song really be that easy? Most definitely.

Why? Because you’re in the driver’s seat when it comes to your thoughts. The trick is having a “replacement thought” at the ready for song trigger situations when you need to switch and ditch.

Take a moment now to chose something — anything, really — to be your replacement thought. Then, when a song you want to take back makes an old memory surface, don’t panic! You’re in the driver’s seat, remember? Push that negativity aside, move your replacement thought on in and before you know it, you’ll ditch the association for good.

What’s your switch and ditch game plan? Willie wants to know! 😉

Ever wonder if R.E.M. is trying to tell you something?

Sure, “Fall On Me” reminds you of that BBQ at your neighbor’s four years ago, the one when you found out your best friend wasn’t really your friend after all. Maybe you pretended you were okay so she never knew how much her betrayal hurt, and then you just kept pretending. You never let yourself feel anything — angry, betrayed, confused, foolish, sad.

What if you let yourself feel those things now, or at least acknowledge that they exist? Write them down, cry them out on a run, speak them aloud (to a person involved or even just to yourself).

“Fall on Me” might not be as heavy without all those emotion weighing it down, and you may even begin to feel lighter, too.

Anchor yourself in the here and now to prevent the past from rocking your boat. Take a deep breath. Revel in your surroundings. Wrap yourself in gratitude. Whatever that song evoked, that was then. You are here  . . .  now.

What song is it you want to hear?

P.S.  I’ve been living in a Jason Isbell world lately, and his “Songs That She Sang in the Shower” reminded me that this blog post has been patiently waiting to be written for quite some time. Give it a listen.

On a lark, on a whim,

I said, “There’s two kinds of men in this world and you’re neither of them”

And his fist cut the smoke

I had an eighth of a second to wonder if he got the joke

In the car headed home

She asked if I had considered the prospect of living alone

With a steak held to my eye

I had to summon the confidence needed to hear her goodbye,

And another brief chapter without any answers blew by

And the songs that she sang in the shower are stuck in my head

Like ‘Bring Out Your Dead,’ ‘Breakfast In Bed’

And experience robs me of hope that she’ll make it back home

So I’m stuck on my own

I’m stuck on my own

In a room by myself

Looks like I’m here with the guy that I judge worse than anyone else

So I pace, and I pray, and I repeat the mantras

that might keep me clean for the day

And the songs that she sang in the shower all ring in my ears

Like ‘Wish You Were Here,” How I wish you were here

And experience robs me of hope that you’ll ever return,

So I breathe and I burn

I breathe and I burn

And the church bells are ringing for those who are easy to please

And the frost on the ground probably envies the frost on the trees

And the songs that she sang in the shower are stuck in my mind

Like ‘Yesterday’s Wine,’ Like ‘Yesterday’s Wine’

And experience tells me that I’ll never hear them again

Without thinking of then, without thinking of then

                                                                                – Jason Isbell